The Real 2012 Prophecy: Mayans, Nostradamus, and Planet X, Oh My!1
by Rich Deem

Introduction

The year 2012 is supposed to result in a slew of natural disasters culminating in the end of the world (as we know it, or think we know it, as the case may be). We know this prediction is true because a bunch of savage, child sacrificing, jungle-dwelling Mayans2 prophesied it hundreds of years ago through their amazingly accurate calendar. Never mind that the date for Armageddon was originally set as December 24, 2011. We now know that these events will occur at exactly 11:11 GMT on December 21 2012. Those Mayans really knew everything about astronomy, since their calendar consisted of 260-day periods, which we now know represents the true length of the solar year! According to the Mayan calendar, the "Great Cycle" equates with 5,125.36 years, which began on August 11, 3114 B.C. and ends in 2012. Unfortunately for the Maya (but maybe fortunately for us), they ended before their calendar.

Other prophesiers

The Maya were not the only people to predict the end of the world. Incan and Egyptian calendars, as well as with the prophecies of Nostradamus, Edgar Cayce (famous for predicting from 1958-1998 that a tilting of the Earth’s axis would result in "The earth will be broken up in the western portion of America. The greater portion of Japan must go into the sea."), and the I Ching, Hopi Indians, along with a slew of wackos have indicated that the apocalypse will occur in December 2012. Nostradamus predicted a great comet, Nibiru, would impact the Mediterranean on December 21, 2012 (or was it the year 1999? - close enough!).

Natural disasters

Not content with just one disaster at a time, 2012 will unleash the ultimate disaster movie - earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, and droughts (at the same time and place!). These events are thought to be caused by a polar shift, enormous asteroids, violent solar activity (never mind that the Sun is now at its most quiet phase in recorded history), the emergence of Planet X or Nibiru, and the planetary alignment of Venus. Never mind that the next Venetian alignment is actually, on June 5-6, 2012, and that the alignment will produce a gravitational interaction on the order of your neighbor's Toaster Strudel. This is real science, man! The other probable causes of these disasters relate to the earth's precession, a 26,000 year cycle that just happens to coincide with the 12/21/2012 date (how it coincides we aren't sure, but we want to throw it in so that nothing is left out). In addition, our Solar System crosses in and out of the galactic plane every 33 million years. Coincidentally, the Sun will be at the exact center of the galactic plane on December 21, 2012 (or maybe it already happened 3 million years ago - but who's counting). At the same time, there will be a massive pole shift caused by the galactic alignment between the center of the galaxy and the Sun that will cause massive earthquakes, volcanoes, and tsunamis. What fun!

Government conspiracy

The really bad thing about 2012 is that the government knows everything about what is going to happen and they are keeping it from you. When Barack Obama talked about change, he wasn't kidding! In fact, they have set up a secret organization, including a secret website, the Institute for Human Continuity, to promote the continued survival of the human species after December 21, 2012. Among other things, the Institute is conducting a lottery to determine which humans will be selected to inhabit the subterranean cities in their "Operation Safe Haven." Surprisingly, the Institute has been operating since 1978, when they held their first Summit in in Timaru, New Zealand. You best get aboard while you can. Don't wait until 2012!

The real 2012 prophecy

Since everybody else is making 2012 predictions, I thought I would throw mine into the mix. And here it is... The 2012 disasters are such good violence and mayhem that they would make the ultimate disaster movie. Hey, somebody needs to make a lot of money by taking from the ignorant interested people. Authors will write books and studios will make movies and the con artists will make lots of money - just like the good old days of Y2K.

Conclusion Top of page

Yes, there will be earthquakes, volcanoes, floods and droughts in 2012, just as there are in every year. My 2012 prediction is that scammers will make a lot of money off gullible astute people. If you need to waste your money find more information on 2012, please click the junk resources below. Now, if I could only figure out how to use that Parmesan Chicken with Pasta Rags recipe from my GE newsletter in my new GE Dishwasher.

For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. (2 Timothy 4:3-4)

2012


The Ezekiel Code  The Ezekiel Code by Gary Val Tenuta

The Mystery of 2012: Predictions, Prophecies, and Possibilities  The Mystery of 2012: Predictions, Prophecies, and Possibilities

Apocalypse 2012: An Investigation into Civilization's End  Apocalypse 2012: An Investigation into Civilization's End by Lawrence E. Joseph

2012: The War for Souls  2012: The War for Souls by Whitley Strieber

The Complete Idiot's Guide to 2012  The Complete Idiot's Guide to 2012 by Synthia Andrews

A Vision for 2012: Planning for Extraordinary Change  A Vision for 2012: Planning for Extraordinary Change by John L. Petersen

2012: Crossing the Bridge to the Future  2012: Crossing the Bridge to the Future by Mark Borax

2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl  2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl by Daniel Pinchbeck

Planet X Forecast and 2012 Survival Guide  Planet X Forecast and 2012 Survival Guide by Jacco van der Worp

Serpent of Light: Beyond 2012  Serpent of Light: Beyond 2012 by Drunvalo Melchizedek

2012: Seeking Closure  2012: Seeking Closure by Gregory Bernard Banks

Beyond 2012: A Shaman's Call to Personal Change and the Transformation of Global Consciousness  Beyond 2012: A Shaman's Call to Personal Change and the Transformation of Global Consciousness by James Endredy

2012 and the Galactic Center: The Return of the Great Mother  2012 and the Galactic Center: The Return of the Great Mother by Christine R. Page M.D.

Maya Cosmogenesis 2012: The True Meaning of the Maya Calendar End-Date  Maya Cosmogenesis 2012: The True Meaning of the Maya Calendar End-Date by John Major Jenkins

How To Survive 2012  How To Survive 2012 by Patrick Geryl

2012: You Have A Choice!: Archangelic Answers And Practices For The Quantum Leap  2012: You Have A Choice!: Archangelic Answers And Practices For The Quantum Leap by Sri Ram Kaa & Kira Raa

The Aquarians: An Ancient Mayan Prophecy—A Modern Phenomenon  The Aquarians: An Ancient Mayan Prophecy—A Modern Phenomenon by Eric Rankin

Fractal Time: The Secret of 2012 and a New World Age  Fractal Time: The Secret of 2012 and a New World Age by Gregg Braden

The Gaia Project: 2012; The Earth's Coming Great Changes  The Gaia Project: 2012; The Earth's Coming Great Changes by Hwee-Yong Jang

Toward 2012: Perspectives on the Next Age  Toward 2012: Perspectives on the Next Age by Daniel Pinchbeck

The Truth: What You Must Know Before December 21, 2012  The Truth: What You Must Know Before December 21, 2012 by Stephen Martin

The Mayan Prophecies for 2012  The Mayan Prophecies for 2012 by Gerald Benedict

BEYOND 2012: CATASTROPHE OR ECSTASY - A COMPLETE GUIDE TO END-OF-TIME PREDICTIONS  BEYOND 2012: CATASTROPHE OR ECSTASY - A COMPLETE GUIDE TO END-OF-TIME PREDICTIONS by GEOFF STRAY

12/21/2012: A Prophecy  12/21/2012: A Prophecy by John J. Ventre

The Revolution of 2012, Vol.1 The Preparation  The Revolution of 2012, Vol.1 The Preparation by Andrew Smith


References Top of page

  1. In case you didn't get it, yes, this page is satire. No, we don't believe in any of the 2012 prophecies.
  2. For people who don't believe the Maya were "savage, child sacrificing," please click the links below to read the scientific citations supporting this claim:
    Vera etons. Latin American Antiquity 17: 493-510.
    Cecilia Medina Martín and Mirna SÁnchez Vargas. 2007. Posthumous Body Treatments and Ritual Meaning in the Classic Period Northern Petén: A Taphonomic Approach. Springer, New York.
    Amador Minjares. 2003. Human Skeletal Remains of the Ancient Maya in the Caves of Dos Pilas, Guatemala. Thesis, University of Notre Dame.
    Sacred Cenote, Wikipedia.
    Chichén Itzá Sacrifice at the Ball Game About.com.
    Ballcourt beheading carved in stone
    Maya Human Sacrifice, Belize, National Geographic.


Last updated July 7, 2009